Naughty Bits: Tape trumps bra in the battle of the breasts
0 Comments Published by *ms.b on Monday, November 26, 2007 at 11:13 AM.It is a sad day when women are opting for glorified scotch tape over a bra -- and nowadays there is an increasing need for it. Clothes are getting scarcer, more transparent, and who can lift and separate under these new conditions? Though I am all for the women’s movement of the 1850’s which evolved into the flapper culture of the roaring 20’s and eventually the burning of the bra in the 60’s, I must personally put my foot down and plea with designers to give reason to put on a bra’s and save our dignity. How is it that in the new millennium we can’t get the balance between being incredibly sexy and completely naked right? We are downright forcing random manufacturers to come up with loose attempts to keep our bosoms in tact and together.


Useful Chick Stuff offers a wide range of barely-there-underwear that includes nipple cover, tapes, and my favorite an adhesive breast ‘perk-er’ called ‘Liftits”. Once you get past their curly logos, and the catchy slogans, their products basically break down to a creative use of the double-stick. It is almost as if a 3M employee was at home one night, and thought I got all this adhesive what can I do with it? Maybe I am a bit disgruntled because I didn’t think of the ‘Liftits’ first-- just like the idea of the post-it. The idea of using a large piece of tape to lift your breast back to the days when you were twenty-two is absolute genius. However there is still one major flaw: how does one explain the sticky tape when you disrobe for your significant other? I agree it is good for that once in a lifetime J-lo moment, but removing it looks like you are peeling a layer of skin from your ‘boobs’.
I am an advocate of progression – especially that of the female kind. I am glad that bathing suits are no longer made of rubber, and women can vote. There is a use for double stick at award shows, when you are trying to keep a handkerchief dress from blowing in the wind-- I understand that. However, in this world of elastic, micro-fibers, and Teflon under-wire, it is possible for designers to make clothing that stays in place. The need for adhesive based underwear is more a cry for better dress design, than lingerie design. After all, if a dress exposes the wearer, and that was not what it was intended to do, somewhere between the draping and the sewing, it went terribly wrong.
*ms. b
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